New "synthetic cocaine" drug popular with kids, let's ban it.

It's called coffee and it is a new drug. It is legal in Colombia and the united states. It can easily be bought at gas stations, tobacco shops and on the internet. An organic herbaceous plant that is native to tropical Asia and Southern Africa. It is rapidly becoming the favorite drug among young adults because of it's stimulant effects. It is a central nervous system stimulant and works in the same way that cocaine, methamphetamine and amphetamines do.

                                               Pictured above: The dangerous new drug coffee most commonly consumed by businessmen and Night shift workers, it is rapidly becoming popular with the younger generation.


This dangerous drug is also now being purified into a concentrated pure crystal form called caffeine USP. Most commonly used by truck drivers in pill form to stave off sleep in order to be able to get their job done on time, however this dangerous purified form of the drug coffee is now folly to our youth and can cause heart attacks in relatively small doses.

                                           Pictured above: The dangerous and deadly extract of caffeine, which can cause heart attacks, irregular heartbeat, delirium, light flashes, ringing ears, convulsions and death.

As mentioned above this dangerous drug has effects similar to that of cocaine and meth, in order to try and prevent a new drug crisis like the meth epidemic our legislators will be introducing a slew of new legislation across the country to make the new drug illegal.

There is no question that coffee is a dangerous and deadly new drug and this legislation is a must to prevent another epidemic.

The new bans being pushed will criminalize the sale, manufacture and the possession of products containing both coffee and caffeine. State law would be amended to place coffee and it's derivatives, including caffeine on a long list of other plants we dislike to be classed as controlled dangerous substances. Violators of the law, if caught would go to prison for between 8 months and 10 years and face fines of up to $300,00 dollars depending on the offense.